Boss vs Leader: who are you? (Part 1)

I believe the infographic on the left is no stranger to us. We have seen it in one way or another, probably with different pictures and different wordings, but it portrays the same analogy.

After looking at this infographic, how many of you will raise your hand and say “I still want to be a boss!”  Or you would think, “Who would want to be a boss?”  It’s not a matter of right or wrong here, I guess it’s a matter of perspective and mindset, it’s a matter of the heart.

​I am not a philosopher, but I learnt something from my years of working - a few short years in the hospitality industry, many years in non-profit organisation and for the past 8 years in business.

I find that we love to learn the success methodology and ways of doing things.  It’s good and that should be the way to learning and growing. However I find that sometimes, these changes can be so surface and shallow that it will eventually return to square one.

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All of us are either a boss or a leader.  In your organisation or even at home, you are responsible for something or someone.  The difference between the least of us and the greatest of all, is the degree of responsibility that we carry.

I must admit that I was living in the BOSS suit in the early days of my life and somehow as age catches up, I began to learn to be a LEADER.  

How bossy or rather dominant am I in my early days?  Well, if you have heard of DISC profiling.  I did that test many times and my “D” (Dominant) trait went up the roof, it can’t go higher, reaching the maximum points.  I believe if I am to do the test again today, the “D” must have come down a bit, because I have matured and I have learned to work as a team.

In my younger days and early working life, I…

• Rather do things by myself than delegating (don’t trust others)
• Will micromanage when I finally delegate the works to my peers or others (give instructions and feel that mine is the best way to get things done)
• Am very conscious on how others perceive me, therefore I will make doubly and triply sure that all my works are perfect and without defect (my performance equals my value)
• Will blame others for the wrongs and mistakes that took place (surely someone else causes this mishap to happen, it couldn’t be me)

There is no TEAM in my world because nobody can be as good as me.  How ignorant?  How naive?  How arrogant?  I allow no one to sabotage my perfect world.  I bore all pressure and stress upon myself.  It is definitely not comfortable to be around a pressure cooker.  Nobody would enjoy being around me, not to say working with me.  That’s fine!  Because that’s what I wanted.  Leave me alone in my perfect world.

I still remember a comment someone told me years after I have taken off the BOSS suit (I bet he wouldn’t have the courage to tell me if I am still with my BOSS mentality): Last time, when I see you coming from the opposite direction, I will find ways to escape from bumping into you.  What a monster I must have been.  

I truly appreciate this comment.  It affirmed me that I have changed for the better.

I still remember a colleague who commented in those days, “Vivien, if you are to bake a cake, you will make sure that the cake is perfect before you bring it to the office for us to get a piece of it.”

My superior commented, “Vivien, it’s OK to delegate and it’s OK for others to make mistakes.  Give them the opportunity to learn and grow.”

The latter comment by my superior struck me.  Yes, when I started off straight from college, she gave me lots of opportunity to learn and grow.  She embraced my mistakes and taught me how to be better the next time.

I remembered another time when I was working in the hospitality industry. I made a careless mistake which can cause serious risk to the organisation.  When I realised my mistake, I went to my superior and confessed it. I expected to be fired on the spot but I was treated with abundant grace.  He told me that what has been done cannot be un-done and now let’s do the necessary to reduce the risk.

Grace is the word.  Unmerited favour.  I have been showered and embraced in grace over and over again.  But it still took me many many years to dig deep into the iceberg and began my journey to resolve my deep underlying issues.  These underlying issues have been affecting how I see myself and others, and also affecting how I behave and react.

So what happened during the iceberg discovery journey.  Will share more in my next blog.

​By Vivien Chong: My thoughts, my story.

(coming soon) BOSS VS LEADER:  WHO ARE YOU? (PART 2)

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